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You’re Engaged and Now Fully Entitled to EVERYONE’s Opinion

April 8, 2010
by

I’m going to digress today.

This post is for those who are either newly engaged and need someone to agree with them or for those who know someone who is newly engaged.

Typically people are really excited upon their engagement.  In fact, most are pretty darn giddy (I know I was). 

I learned during my engagement that some people didn’t care, some cared way too much, and some were just downright nosy.

So, in the event you find yourself congratulating a newly engaged person, here’s a list of things not to do or say.

1. Don’t ask to try on the bride’s engagement ring–unless she offers.  This is just rude and frankly, if you don’t clean your hands enough, I don’t want you touching my jewels.
2. Don’t ask how big the engagement ring is (really, should I even have to tell you this one?!). 
3. Don’t ask them if they are “sure they want to get married”..this is just inappropriate.
4. Don’t tell them ALL about how horrible your marriage is, Debbie Downer.
5. Don’t immediately ask them personal questions and then start to judge them.
6. For no reason should you discredit the merit of their engagement.

Ok, some do’s

1. Do tell the newly engaged “Congratulations!” and follow with a hand shake, hug, smile, etc.  However, if the newly engaged is done talking about being engaged, take the hint.
2. People usually don’t plan their weddings before the engagement, so don’t ask about what the dress looks like, what their colors are, who their ring bearer is, etc.  Give them time.  If they like you, they’ll invite you to their wedding and you’ll get the answers to all of your questions.
3. Don’t offer your advice unless they ask for it…and if they ask for it, give them open, honest advice with just a few sprinkles of sugar if it’s going to hurt their feelings.

These are ways to avoid discomfort and bridezillas.  Take them to heart.  You never know when you’re going to make some unsuspecting newly engaged person entirely uncomfortable with your unyielding curiosity. 

This is by no means a completed list, so feel free to leave a comment with your own engagement etiquette advice!!

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